Most children don't know how to efficiently work in a wide open space.
Picture messy living rooms, messy bedrooms, toys strewn across the yard...
This isn't just how they play, it's also how they feel about more space than they can handle.
Now add a little early childhood trauma causing disrupted neurological development on top of that and Voila! What you have is a kid who handles open spaces in the most frustratingly baffling ways that it just HAS TO BE intentional! You find yourself thinking...
He's trying to not do a good job. It's defiance.
He's trying to be lazy. The kid is so selfish.
He's trying to annoy me. It's rejection.
While that's certainly possible, you don't really know unless you know for sure that your child has learned and remembered how to properly do the chore.
In some parts of the world autumn brings the need to rake leaves or pine needles. (These methods can also be applied to sweeping a large cement area.) You know how to teach a chore using the 3-2-1 Method from coaching, but how does one teach a child to rake a yard when that child seems as lost as if you'd asked them to mop up the ocean?
Here are two strategies. The goal in each strategy is to give the child points of reference to orient them in an otherwise sea of mess.
But first, here are a couple issues you’ll encounter no matter which method your child uses.
Child Issue A: “The rake doesn’t get all the pine needles!”
Parent: “Yep, that’s right. It didn’t. What can you do differently?...See how the pine needles is slipping between the rake’s tines? You’ll need to turn the rake so it grabs the pine needles instead of letting them slip through the gaps.”
Child Issue B: “The needles/leaves keep getting stuck in the rake!”
Parent: “Yep. That’s what happens. You’ll have to push them off.”
Child Issue C: Leaving debris around the collection container
9.9 times out of 10 they’re going to do this, they’re going to leave behind whatever happens to drop outside the container. So instead of getting irritated, just plan on it.
While the chore is being done, you can say, “Before you move the bag, you’ll save yourself time if you check to make sure you didn’t leave any debris behind.” Notice how I presented it as a way to make things easier on the child.
You can also say this when teaching the chore. If you did, then instead of repeating yourself during the chore, provoke a reminder by asking, “Hey, what tip did I give about checking the work before you move the bag?”
If the child chooses to NOT take your advice, no problem!
Kids always have that option, and then they get to see how it works out for them. When you check the chore, they’ll just have to spend time and hassle fixing the stuff they needlessly left behind. Since rubbing their noses in their bad decision would only motivate them toward further defiance, that's not what you'll do. Instead you'll be very calm, even kind, and matter-of-fact as you direct them to correct what they left behind.
It’s ok if your child wants to learn the hard way. Some people prefer it.
Now for the yard clean-up strategies you’ve been waiting for!
1. The Line Method
Where To Start
This matters.
Start in a corner on the short edge of the area to be cleared. You will maximize success by having the child work along the shortest width.
The How-To
With the child standing on the edge of the yard (e.g. against the fence or on the edge of the sidewalk/driveway), have the child reach the rake out such that their elbows are still basically at their sides.
(PHOTO of ELBOWS IN & RAKE OUT)
Elbows staying close to the body is important because when kids start to extend their arms away from the body, then they usually over-extend, and then they bend their whole body forward, and then they’re stepping forward instead of staying put...and the whole chore goes to pot because there’s no limit to their reaching, thus the strategy fails, thus the chore is too frustrating and adults are mean!
Screaming abounds. Heaven, help us.
So, extend the rake only as far as it can go from the child’s hand (with elbow bent and close to the body) to the ground. Now draw the rake and debris back until it makes a pile in front of the child’s feet.
Take a step to the side (NOT forward or backward!) and repeat: elbows in, rake out, draw rake back, stop in front of your feet, step to the side. Repeat.
Oh, look! A line of collected debris is forming!
Once the child gets to the end of the yard (or designated area) they should have a line of debris against the outer boundary of the yard.
(PHOTO of LINE 1 against boundary)
Now the child walks to the edge of the remaining debris (the start of pine needles on the left of the photo below), and the child starts making another line of debris in front of their toes again.
Eventually you’ll have rows of lines like this. See the two lines here?
The key is that once the child makes the line which is in front of their toes the child then steps over the debris line and turns around to face the opposite direction they had been facing. Now the child is standing in the area they just cleared with the debris line they just made still in front of their toes.
Repeat the process, adding to your current debris line:
Elbows in, rake out, draw rake back, stop in front of your feet, step to the side. Repeat.
This is how you get that huge gap you saw between my lines of pine needles. That gap is at least 6 feet, though for a child it might end up closer to 4. The benefit of this is that the child is only having to create a new line (i.e. DIFFICULT TASK) half the time. The other half of the time the child is simply adding to a line that she has already created.
Notice below that my line got crooked as I worked toward the house. It doesn’t matter. It’s not the point. The point is that the line serves as a place of reference. Delete that from your “Things to Correct” List. Yay!
To finish the job the child puts their bin or bag next to the line and begins scooping it up and into the container. Work down the line until the whole line has been picked up, then start on the next line.
Ta da! A cleared yard!
2. “King of the Hill” Method
Where To Start
Anywhere, which is exactly what your kid does anyway!
The How-To
Provide a large object that your child can stand on. (They will stand on it, so it needs to be approved for that function! Set them up for success.) We’ll call this the “Positioning Object”.
I used a shingle that had blown off our roof. Notice how I’m standing on it in a random patch of pine needles because starting point doesn’t matter.
Other items that work outdoors: a large rock, large pinecone, fat stick, plastic grocery sack. You can even have the kid find such an object outside if you want.
The key to this method is the child keeping their feet on or right next to the positioning object. You may have to kindly re-direct them back to their Positioning Object several times until they get used to paying attention to it.
(That’s how bad spatial awareness can be – that they can’t even remember to keep their foot on a stick!)
With a foot on or next to the Positioning Object have the child extend the rake, dragging debris back toward their feet. Teach the child to PIVOT (warning: complicated motion for many kids!), turning slightly right or left and raking again.
Notice that my foot is staying on the shingle.
Keep pivoting until the child has raked the debris directly encircling them. The child has created a pile of debris at or on their feet.
Notice how the left side of my circle has a longer radius than the right side. I was clearly reaching further toward the left than I did toward the right.
IT DOESN’T MATTER. All that matters is that nearly all debris inside the circumference of the circle is now in the center pile like a little nucleus. “Good raking, Daughter!”
Find the Positioning Object and put it somewhere new. The only rule now is that the child has to be able to comfortably reach the edge of the first circle from the center of the next circle! With elbow close to the body does the rake reach the edge of the cleared circle? If not, then move closer.
As the child works piles of debris will form across the yard.
Conclusion
One method is not better than the other. Do what makes the most sense to your child. It may take some trial and error to even figure that out, and that's ok.
This is not just about obedience and limit-setting. Chores are about learning about yourself, learning about a task, and learning (MOST IMPORTANTLY) that mom and dad are on your side.