I once heard a pastor say from his pulpit, “Who doesn’t open their gifts on Christmas?!” Ironically, I was sitting next to one such child. (It was SO hard not to point!)
I know a different child who refused to leave his bedroom on Christmas and spent much of the day screaming and being defiant. He did not open a single present because he chose not to. Perhaps you know a child like this?
Even if your traumatized child is willing to open their gifts, they still have all the same struggles as modern American children: entitlement, lack of gratitude, more stuff than they can keep track of, appreciate or use, etc. So much goes to waste.
What’s a parent to do?
It’s very natural to think that if your child is ungrateful and deserving of coal in his stocking anyway, then why not just forego giving him gifts? But here’s why not...
Because the child is part of your family and your family gives gifts for the holiday.
If you want your child to act like part of the family, you do need to treat them like part of the family, as much as you are able.
Here is a method for giving small doses of affection (in the form of gifts) to your child.
(If your child can handle more than this, GREAT! This method is merely a starting point from which to grow.)
2 – Fun Treats
2 – Fun Books
2 – Fun Items
The word “fun” means that you are picking treats, books and items/activities that you believe your child might truly enjoy. The point of giving a gift is to convey love for the individual; how much love will be conveyed if you give things the child doesn’t like at all like carrot sticks for a “treat” and dictionaries for a “book”?
If you’re going to give a gift, make it something you think the kid might like.
Treats
Think small. Choose items your child is attracted to but which you don’t normally buy.
· One bottle of a drink you otherwise never let him have (NOT a caffeinated “energy” drink!)
· One bag of chips or a whole can of Pringles all to himself!
· A king-size candy bar
· A pack of gum
Remember that this is only special if they are things you don’t normally buy or let the child have all to himself.
Buying a small pack of drinks or bags of chips means that there’s something for which your child now has to be responsible and something that can get “unearned”. Do you really want to mess with that? It’s safer to give one bag or one bottle –an amount that can be immediately consumed and then done with.
Books
Most kids are not experts at taking care of books. Consider buying books in good condition from a thrift or used bookstore. It turns out they read just the same as a more expensive, brand new book, but mom feels less frustrated when they’re damaged.
If your child is reasonably responsible with books, you might opt to get your child a complete set of books instead of just 2. Complete sets are fun and then your child has more reading choices at home. Consider the costs and risks and do what you think is best.
Fun Items
“Fun Items” can be practical things but they should still be attractive to the child. Most importantly, make sure it's an item your child can lose, destroy or give away without you feeling offended.
· A cool t-shirt
· A nifty toothbrush
· A set of pens or pencils
Note: Unless your child is very responsible with craft supplies, I do NOT recommend giving your child a craft / drawing / painting kit. Too many parts! Too much frustration to see it not taken care of!
You can also get purely recreational items. Since you are giving this as a personal gift to a specific child, make sure it’s an item that you’re ok letting the child have total control over.
· A toy
· A stuffed animal or snuggly blanket
· An outdoor toy/activity like a ball
Note: If you want all the kids to be able to use an item such as a family game, then give that item to the family, not to any particular child.
Keep it simple. Keep it loving. God bless you, one and all.