This is my “serious” face. After all, most of life is really serious – just ask your kid. Here are some of my favorite quotes from children with RAD.

“I have to have 3 pieces of bread every day to stay healthy.”
“I have to have a dirt rake RIGHT NOW!”
“I touched the dog and now I think I’m dying!”
“You have to give me a popsicle after dinner.” (Actually I don’t. And then I gave the sugar craving, sugar stealing Sweetie Pie a popsicle for breakfast.) “You can’t feed me popsicles for breakfast!”
“My arm’s going to fall off, it’s going to fall off, THERE IT GOES!” (I kid you not. And yes, his arm was fine as I held it with 2 fingers.)
(After reading the side effect list on a prescription bottle) “You have to tell me what libido is right now! I have to know so I know if I get it!”

As you can see, life is full of emergencies and do-or-die situations. So I reach in my pocket and pop in the right teeth for the occasion. Whether I’m walking down the grocery aisle (preferably with a family member who is oblivious to what I’ve just put in my mouth) or when a child is lying to me, when the child is falling apart over a chore that’s “too difficult” or just asking to use the bathroom, nearly any occasion is the right occasion for BUBBA TEETH!

This, my friends, is one of the keys to staying sane
in the face of constant insanity.

The more you can stay in character and make it a full charade, the better.

Here are a few recommended uses:

1. Greeting your child in the morning. Talk like Mater from Cars and say, “Welp, time to don some clean britches.”

The confusion on a child’s face can be so satisfying. But do practice saying the line before you enter as the teeth can be difficult to talk with.

2. Picking your child up from school.

Using your best hick voice, “So, how was yer day?”

3. Child expressing a ridiculous need.

“Well, I see there you’re in a pickle. I was in a pickle once. Slimy place, come to think of it. But the vinegar made my hair soft. What was it you need again?”

Warning: Personal self-worth required.

A word of warning: this will not work if you take your child’s reaction seriously. It’s also not a silver bullet for bumping your kid out of Crazy Land. Your kid may not laugh; they may just scream and escalate. The point is more about you than them. If they scream and escalate, but wearing the ridiculous teeth helps you not to escalate, then great! Success! On the other hand, if it’s gonna hurt your feelings for your child to say something mean back to you, then set this idea aside for now.

There are 2 goals here.

Goal #1 You staying calm and sane despite whatever nonsense your child is kicking up.

Goal #2 You getting to be someone you like (a fun parent) and potentially de-railing your child’s negative emotions for at least a quick second .

If you’re up for it, find yourself a funny accessory like bubba teeth which you can easily carry in a pocket or purse, then slip it on when the moment’s right, and ENJOY. Other characters you can consider being: Einstein, Buzz Lightyear, Used Car Salesman...

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