"If an organism is stuck in survival mode, its energies are focused on fighting off unseen enemies, which leaves no room for nurture, care, and love. For us humans, it means that as long as the mind is defending itself against invisible assaults, our closest bonds are threatened, along with our ability to imagine, plan, play, learn, and pay attention to other people's needs."
Excerpt From The Body Keeps the Score: Brain, Mind, and Body in the Healing of Trauma
By Bessel Van Der Kolk, M.D., p. 76
It is very common for people who are suffering from trauma, including children with Reactive Attachment Disorder, to have a dearth of creativity. When they do create something, it's often full of negative themes such as violence and death. And then there are the times it looks creative but is an absolute farce like the boy who wrote his school "creative writing assignment" all about how he went on a trip to Mexico, which actually was the full re-telling of the trip someone else took. The only thing he imagined was that it was him and not them. We just call that envy, not creativity.
Sadly the closest many children with RAD come to creativity is their lies, but here's some good news.
1. Activities requiring creativity help traumatized brains heal.
Simply because you want your child's brain to heal past their trauma, give your child time to attempt to create something: blocks, playdough, Legos, etc. The more open-ended the task is, the harder it will be for the child, and harder is not the goal! Growth is the goal.
A lower level creative challenge can be starting simply with a basic coloring book. Big spaces, basic images, and a small number of crayons are a nice easy start. But, some older kids will do better with the coloring books which include many small areas and intricate designs. Yet again, this is harder, which is not the goal, so only use the "harder" coloring books if that's more appealing (and realistically useful) for your specific child. (And, of course, avoid violent themes, which sadly includes most super heroes.)
If your child stares at the book and does nothing, don't fret. THIS IS NOT FAILURE, THIS IS A WORK IN PROGRESS. Allow them 10-20 minutes to stare blankly at the page. When the time is up, move on. But keep putting this activity in front of them from time to time. You never know when they just might do something.
2. Increased creativity is a sign of healing.
The day the child colors anything on the coloring page is a step forward. (Write that down in your book of positives - see "A Parent Who Builds On The Positives".) The day your child makes a square instead of a block tower is a step forward. The day your child decides to create their own design in Pattern Play (See "Best of Brain Games") is a step forward.
These early steps may seem unqualified for the title of "creative". Let's face it, someone who hasn't been practicing true, positive creativity is likely to stink at it for quite a while.
Respond to your child's creations by asking, "Tell me about that."
Try to say this before you give any evaluation of the work, including remarks like "good job" or "Is that a barn?" Start the discussion with this open-ended question - tell me about that - and just see what the child says.
When they come up with new themes that are therapeutically useful or positive, take that as a step forward. When they start answering you with more detail and the details are positive (or therapeutically useful), take that as a step forward.
At first they may respond with, "Uuuuuhhhhh.......it's a snake." You're not giving them creative activities because they're so creative; you're giving them because they aren't! So when the answers are minimal and scenes are negative, that's where things start. IT'S OK. You have to start somewhere, and that may be all your child has to work with at the moment in their little calcified heart.
When you ask, "Tell me about that", you leave room for the child's creation to remain theirs. The CHILD tells you what it is. The CHILD may indicate what they think of their work. You don't necessarily have to give ANY feedback. Your response to the snake can be, "OK." And then move on to the next task. You don't have to like your child's work or their explanation, and you don't have to approve it.
The child created, you asked, they told, moving on.
But, of course, when there's ANYTHING positive, praise it. (Praise what you want repeated.)
"We learned [that] traumatized people have a tendency to superimpose their trauma
on everything around them and have trouble deciphering what is going on around them...
Without imagination there is no hope, not change to envision a better future,
no place to go, no goal to reach."
Excerpt From The Body Keeps the Score: Brain, Mind, and Body in the Healing of Trauma
By Bessel Van Der Kolk, M.D., p. 17
Imagination matters.
Creatively nurture it.
