Yep, that’s all you’ve got to say: “What do I want you to do?”
“But, mom, that’s not fair!"
“What do I want you to do?”
Child hears you and then turns to do something different...
“What do I want you to do?”
Child pouts and then tries to barter. “Well, can I have a popsicle if I do that?”
“What do I want you to do?”
“Why can’t I?!”
“What do I want you to do?”
“Why do I have to?!”
“What do I want you to do?”
“I don’t want to!”
“What do I want you to do?”
Tone: Cool-handed confidence
Posture: Steady, firm but calm and confident
Warning: Do not intentionally provoke your child to anger. Having a boundary set and firmly held is likely to be angering and frustrating and your child may blow because you are upholding your authority. What I’m talking about is being an antagonistic little brother who keeps saying the same thing over and over again just to get on your nerves. Don’t do that. Be reasonable. There often comes a point where you stop repeating “What do I want you to do?” and instead you just say nothing. Please use discernment about when to stop answering and just wait silently.
Guess what? This line will work for EVERY parenting situation you’ll ever have! JUST KIDDING! If only. Parenting just isn’t quite that straightforward or we’d all have it mastered by now. But, it will work for A LOT of situations, and I do mean A LOT.
Response to Defiance: Instead of engaging in arguments, repeat this line like a broken record. I’ve even had people record it on their phone and just hit play every time their child tries to ask a question or argue. Haha! The child’s life needs to go into a holding pattern (like an airplane waiting on a runway or circling above the airport waiting for permission to land) until they complete the instruction given. They don’t get to go somewhere else (unless it’s to be bored in their empty bedroom) or play or watch TV. The child’s life is on hold until they’re strong enough to obey.
Now, parents,“What do I want you to do?”