Documenting Behavior
Any parent describing behavior that is way outside the norm is going to be looked upon with some doubt. I mean, if a friend told you that her child jumped over the house, would you automatically believe her? No. It’s the same for reporting our children’s extreme raging, defiance, control and manipulation. It’s practically unbelievable.
But, there’s an App for that. ☺ (kind of)
As suggested by the logo, this App was designed to use for children with autism, but I have used it for RAD for a couple years.
If you have multiple children you want to track, no problem.
Here’s what it looks like when you need to enter a rage or tantrum.
You can even upload photos or video documentation and add notes. How handy is that?
You DO NOT need to fill in all those categories! Here’s how I suggest using the App.
Rate the Rage (mandatory): blue to red faces
Come up with your own criteria for what would constitute each level of the rating system.
I recommend that RED be reserved for rages in which the child is utterly lost inside his own chaos and emotions. It doesn’t matter who walks in the room or what happens next, nothing is likely to shift this kid out of their negative tailspin except patience.
Date and Time (mandatory)
It is really important that you record the length of the rages. Teach yourself to check the start and end times somehow because your own estimation really cannot be relied upon. Everything feels longer than it is because it’s so intense.
Behavior (bonus)
The App comes with the following options: verbal aggression, physical aggression, verbal & physical, destroyed property, and more.
I suggest adding these options: ran away, self-harm, refusal, whining
Precipitator (double bonus)
Preset options: transitioning, non-preferred activity, food, tired, over-stimulated, denied desired item, etc.
Suggested additions: chore, answering a question, didn’t listen, caught disobeying, bedtime routine, morning routine, somatic concern, performance anxiety, jealousy, lost privilege, missed rx, hormones?, schoolwork, feels rejected, got scared
Ignore These Categories
Location
Response
Resolution
Mitigator
Will it take some time in a world where you’re already running on fumes and coordinating umpteen things? Yes, but I think it’s worth it.
To me, it’s worth it to walk into the psychiatrist’s office and show him hard evidence like this:
“Yes, doctor, he has had 17 blue tantrums, 8 greens, 7 yellows, 8 oranges, and 15 reds where he was fully violent and dangerous to himself and others. That makes for 55 episodes since we last saw you. Would you like to know how long the red ones lasted?
I’d love to show you the chart on duration...
Oh, why was he raging? Let’s see. This one says he was doing his daily chore.”
And yes, this is an actual RAD record. Not exactly “the good ol’ days”.
It’s also super helpful to look at this format:
In the calendar format it’s easy to see patterns. For instance, Wednesdays were generally pretty good days! In other months you could see how my absence and other events contributed to the behavioral pattern.
Also notice that each time there was a RED it was followed by at least one more episode the next day.
Do you best to record events and remind yourself that something is better than nothing! But also the more complete the data is, the better it will represent your situation. That’s why I recommend focusing on the color faces, date and time. The rest is just bonus info.
Tracking also provides you with a useful reality check.
In a world where it feels like your child just tantrums ALL THE TIME, it’s useful to see that last week there were actually only 4 episodes whereas the week before there were 10. Hmm. Interesting. And 3 months ago there were 50 episodes, but this month there have been 15. That’s actually a big difference. The rages are just as powerful, just as stressful, but the number of episodes did decrease. Why? Something to think about.